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Saturday, March 06, 2004

Trade Ishii or Nomo, not Perez

6-4-2 blog has great analysis on the VORP (value over replacement player) of our 2004 pitching staff. Nomo and Ishii are going to take a tumble in value, Perez will come up well, and Weaver, Dreifort, Jackson, and Alvarez should do well. The loss of Brown hurts us tremendously, as well as the falls of Nomo and Ishii. But we can survive all that if we keep Perez. The analysis is here.

I hate loudmouths as much as the next guy, but considering that Perez is young, and more than likely due for a comeback, we've got to keep him. Now if we can just find a schmuck to take Ishii, everything will be all right. I'm sure Depodesta knows that Ishii had a career year last year, and that his value is going to collapse this year; he needs to trade Ishii before the regular season starts, and Ishitty reveals his true self. Dan Evans in his infinite wisdom decided to sign Ishii through the next two seasons, with buy outs in the year 2006, and 2007, so to trade Ishii away for a hitter, we're going to have to give up one of our big prospects (Jackson, Miller, or Hanharan). It's not a pretty picture, and further proof in my book that Evans was incompetent.

I missed Kobe getting injured last night, and I only saw a few minutes of the game. I'm glad we won, and I wish a mediocre, overrated shitball like Ray Allen would get fined heftily for hurting Kobe. Teams should make more of an effort to lie about players' injuries, so that players don't target weaknesses. Just a thought. Hopefully Kobe won't be out longer than the estimated month by Yahoo sports. Shaq can carry the team, but he's an injury risk too. And when's that old man Malone going to get healthy? I hated him when he was on that evil bastard team the Jazz, and I think I still hate him. If you want to win a championship you gotta work for one Karl.

Friday, March 05, 2004

Holy Shit, I reached 10000 Hits

Wow I'm a badass. Now if I can parlay this into a money making operation I'm all set. Expect links to porn sites to appear on the right column any day now.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Let's look at: The Rockies

When I think of Rockies, I think of an ice cold Coors in my fridge, in fact I think I'll have one right now. The last thing I think about is that Purple People Eater team called the Rockies. Statheads nearly orgasm at the thought of the Rockies and Coors field, and what it represents to hitting. A guy like Larry Walker has made quite a career at that field; he had played anywhere else, his laid back, love getting injured attitude would have gotten him a release. Instead he's kind of a legend.

Pitching--It's a no brainer that no one on the staff of the Rockies is going to have an ERA under 4. Jason Jennings is the #1 guy for the Rockies, and the 2002 winner of the Rookie of the year. He's a total fatso, and injury prone. But he's talented. He had an off year last year, and is coming off a two year statistical decline. I'd bet on him though for a nice comeback.

Shawn Estes is a mildly below average pitcher, coming off of two terrible years. He just turned 31, but his best years are behind him. Joe Kennedy will probably be the number #3 guy, and his last two seasons parallel Kennedy's except for the fact that he's rather young. It wouldn't be a surprise to see him make a comeback, but the demoralizing that Coors field can do to a pitcher might prevent that.

Scott Elarton is also a below average pitcher, partly due to playing the last few years in Coors, and partly due to the fact that he just plain sucks. He's been doing well in Spring Training, but all that means is he's scared of losing his job. Dennis Stark and Aaron Cook are another set of mediocre pitchers. The Rockies decided to move Shawn Chacon their most talented pitcher to the bullpen, and are placing some hope on Chin-Hui Tsao, a young phenom from Taiwan. Tsao is supposed to be amazing, but he's really young, and outside of Jennings, this staff is terrible. It's even worse than the Padres.

Bullpen--The Bullpen is a bit better. Chacon, if healthy will dominate. Brian Fuentes is pretty good, Steve Reed is quite old, but good, Javier Lopez is another decent pitcher. Outside of the Dodgers, this might be the best bullpen in the NL West. Everyone except Reed is young, and all are healthy. But it won't make up for the terrible starters.

Position Players--I know it sounds crazy, but I think picking up Jeromy Burnitz from us was a great move. Burnitz is the most absurd fly ball hitter in the history of the game. All he can do is hit homers. If you're a dork, and play rotisserie baseball, you should draft this guy. He's definitely going to hit more than 35 homeruns. Coors Field is perfect for this guy.

Preston Wilson is your typical underrated Garret Anderson type. He's a little worse of a hitter, but a better fielder. His away stats are awesome too, so he actually is talented. He's coming off of finger surgery, and his knee is bothering him, but he's definitely solid. His stats a couple years ago were terrible, but I read that year his son died and his wife left him, and if that doesn't make you play like shit I don't know what else would. The Rockies get great guys like this, we get bastards like Sheffield. Nice.

Larry Walker rounds out the outfield in right. Larry apparently lost some weight, but yet again his health is an issue. He's basically the Rockie's version of Shawn Green, a once great hitter tied to an enormous contract he can never live up to. Green is off the books after 2005, Walker is around the year 2060. He's still a liability, and he's not playing in any exhibition games yet this year. He'll be a problem, at age 37.

Vinny Castilla, fresh from the Braves, is at third. He's overrated as a hitter, but he's competent, and perhaps Coors will help his stats a bit. He had a great year last year, but he's old. Usually healthy so he was a good pick up. Royce Clayton on the other hand is another terrible choice. The guy rivals Izturis for worse hitting position player in baseball (actually Izturis is a tad worse). Also Clayton is a prick, and will probably be dropped from the team midseason. He's a local boy, from Burbank, not that you needed to know that. Damian Jackson is on second, and is a poor hitter as well. He doesn't hit for power, so it's unlikely that Coors will help too much. The GM of the Rockies must believe in weak hitting middle infielders with good defense, because Jackson and Clayton are classic examples. Considering that there are so many good offensive players on this team already, it won't make much of a difference that these guys are on the roster, and it will help the crap pitching a bit.

Todd Helton, plays first base of course. He'll do wonderfully, and the debates will rage on and on about whether he deserves to be a Hall of Famer because of his padded stats. He might be the best first baseman in baseball, due to the fact that he's younger than Delgado. He'll certainly be the best this year. Charles Johnson, an ex-Dodger, is the catcher. He's terrible offensively, but he is rumored to be brilliant at working with pitchers. It's not an issue though with the offensive powerhouse that the Rockies are.

So to conclude, the Rockies have, yet again, a stunning offense in Helton, Wilson, Burnitz, and possibly Walker, while suffering with a pathetic pitching staff. It brought them down last year, and it will bring them down this year. They never seem to learn. I've reviewed every team in the the West except the Dodgers, so here's how I think they'll stack up when the season ends. Of course making a prediction this early is a little ridiculous, especially since midseason acquisitions can change everything but here goes:

1. Dodgers
2. Padres
3. Diamondbacks
4. Giants
5. Rockies

The Padres? Pitching is their weakness, but they have a solid defense, and a good bullpen. Their pitching isn't nearly as bad as the Rockies, but it's younger, and the strikeout rates of their staff are good enough to convince me that one or two on the staff will have a great year. The D-backs rely too much on old men, but I think their pitching will be decent enough to have a winning season. Their offense will be worse than ours next year. The Giants are finished as a power in the West. Bonds is done as an offensive threat without steroids, and Schmidt and Reuter had career years last year that are an anomaly to their career stats. Jerome Williams is all they have to fill in the gaps, and he's not talented enough. The offense without Bonds is deplorable. The Rockies, as I explained above are similar to their team last year, if not worse. They'll finish dead last.

Why do I pick the Dodgers to win the West this season? Not because they're good, they're not, but because the rest of the West is terrible. I'll go over each Dodger position player, and the bench in the next few days. Until then, listen to the ST games on the radio, man we're kicking ass! Go Loney!

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Oh Man, this is our moment

I've been asked by leading social commentators from around America, for my opinion on the steroid controversy. First off, is there any clown out there who wasn't the least bit surprised?

Sheffield, Bonds, are both bloated, and prone to total insane rages. No surprise there. Giambi was bloated, but had the rage part under control. But no surprise there. I guess the only surprise comes from Marvin Benard. See folks, just because you do steroids doesn't mean you still won't suck.

What should we do about this? There's the argument that the offensive records broken in the 90s should be invalidated. Whatever. They sold tickets, and that's what counts. Baseball needs to reinvent itself like the NFL. EVERYONE in the NFL has raisin size testicles and does steroids. And if they're not doing steroids, they're probably doing something so disgusting to their bodies to make them run the 40 a little faster, that it should be illegal. The average life expectancy of an NFL player is 35 years anyway, so it's clear that even if the drugs are illegal, players will do anything for performance, even if it means their own lives, and their children being born with one eye in the middle of their foreheads.

I hate homeruns. I love pitchers. Fans think they love homeruns, and shitty pitching, but all fans, smart and stupid, can agree that they want baseball games shorter. Historically, baseball games WERE short. They ended when the sun came down, and umpires knew to give the manager shit when he made too many pitching changes, or prevent too many mound meetings that delayed the games. The MLB is getting better at this, but there are still WAY too many pitching changes. Why the changes? Simply because the batters are better. Better hitters, means worse pitchers, means longer games, means more people bitching and moaning, means less attendance, means the end of baseball as we know it, and more people getting their thrills from anime and internet porn rather than good old American sports. All because of steroids.

We can't stop steroids, but we sure as hell can make it hard for the hitters to take them. The MLB should have a goal to structure their sport like the NFL, with "testing" but no positives. Eventually this controversy will die down, and though most of the players will be juicing up, they won't get caught, and stupid people all over America can believe that their favorite player is "clean". It works for football.

But baseball needs to recognize that steroids means a slow game, and a tainted game. And since every team but the Dodgers is juiced, the cleaner the teams, the more likely the Dodgers will win, because a shitty offense like ours really does need steroids to succeed. Skinny losers like Cora and Izturis need to shoot up pronto.

Monday, March 01, 2004

Let's look at: The Diamondbacks

Can you believe, that there is not one, but two teams that are colored purple, in our division? It's a little ridiculous. I promised to review the NL West rivals the Dodgers face, and I've covered the Padres, and the Giants so far.

Pitchers--The D-backs are a lot like the Giants; very dependent on the abilities of only a few players. Jason Schmidt pitched like Randy Johnson last year, and the Giants ran away with the division. Randy Johnson pitched like Darren Dreifort last year, and the Dodgers placed higher than the D-backs. I doubt he'll pitch as well as he has in the past, but even injured last year, he pitched a respectable 110 ERA+. His career is 143. I expect some improvement, but nowhere near his best years. Still a threat.

Brandon Webb will be the #2 starter. He should have won Rookie of the Year last year, but he can't do Bruce Lee leg kicks like Dontrelle, nor did his team make the playoffs, so he lost out. But he's probably the best young pitcher out there, with the exception of Mark Prior. He didn't pitch much last year, so when he gets a full year's workout, he'll probably tire as the season goes on. Not that that means anything, since the Dodgers will be out of contention by then. He's solid though.

Elmer Dessens will be #3. He actually had a below average season last year, so I expect a tad bit of improvement, but he's not that good of a pitcher. Mostly an innings eater. After Dessens things get bad for the D-backs. Shane Reynolds is rapidly declining and on the wrong side of 35. He's way past his prime. #5 starter is Steve Sparks, or Edgar Gonzalez, a prospect. Both are not very good. Overall this staff slightly below average, and too dependent on old men like Reynolds, Sparks, and Johnson. All three are injury risks.

Bullpen Matt Mantei is a really good closer, Valverde shows promise and is young, Villareal is good too. Fossum is average and coming off of injuries. Over all it's a good bullpen, and comparable to ours. It will make up for a lot of the shortcomings of this staff.

Position players Like the Giants, this team relies too much on an old core of players to make things right. Unlike the Giants who procured Pierzynski, and pretty much nothing else, the D-backs went ahead, made a trade with one of the last psycho teams left in the league, the Brewers, and got Richie Sexson. Sexson isn't actually that much better than Shawn Green, but he's a healthy Shawn Green, and still in his prime. Luis Gonzalez, is past his prime, and is playing with a torn ligament in his throwing arm. Now I normally don't pray for opponents to get injured, okay I do pray for opponents to get injured, and that might happen here. He's signed to an enormous contract for years to come, and the D-backs are going to regret it when he goes down for over a year.

Steve Finley might be an immortal,but he's a slowly declining immortal. I expect even less from him this year. Bautista is basically Beltre in the outfield. Continuing on with their tradition of procuring really old players, the D-backs have Alomar as their second baseman. Yes, he's a Hall of Famer, no, he still can't play baseball. Cintron, and Hillebrand are both average players, with Cintron the slightly better hitter. Neither will hurt their team, but neither will help it. Gonzalez, Alomar and Bautista will definitely hurt it. If Gonzalez by some miracle stays healthy the whole season, this offense will be average. If he goes down, they are SCREWED.

To conclude, this is a team that is going to need a lot of luck to stay healthy. They ran out of luck last year, and their team core is one of the oldest in the game. Expect more injuries this season, and expect a similar finish to last seaon.
We're a Joke

Can you believe how much of a joke the Dodgers are that we have Canseco running around looking for a roster spot? Last year it was Henderson and McGriff, this year Canseco, next year, Ty Cobb powered by a car battery. I'm starting to forget the years when the Dodgers and Yankees were talked about in the same breath. This Canseco character is a confessed steroid user, and we're about to be in the middle of an enormous steroid controversy. I don't care how good he is, or could be, WE SHOULD NOT HIRE HIM. It would look terrible.

I bought a book off of Amazon called Who's Better, Who's Best in Basketball? It's an interesting read, because the guy who wrote it is a big time stats guy, and he writes all those stats down for the ESPN anchors during games. So when you hear Dan Patrick say, that Kobe is 3 for 300, with a topless chick in the fifth row is in his viewing range, you know where that stat came from.

The book is also interesting to Lakers fans because it states that Shaq is the greatest player ever. The whole book ranks the greatest players ever, and has Michael Jordan at third, Shaq at first. I basically ruined the whole book for you, but you might also want to take a look the arguments he makes for those players being there. He takes into account MVP voting, which I think is a little ridiculous, but he also takes into account playoff playing, which I think is smart. Good players DO play harder in the playoffs, unlike in baseball, where they CAN'T play harder, since it's so hard to get on base to begin with. Shaq's point totals in the playoffs have been phenomenal, he leads everyone in the history of basketball with the most slam dunks, and he's the most efficient scorer ever in the history of the game. I think statistically he's the best player ever, but I really do believe Michael Jordan was better, just because Jordan was more of a team leader, and he talked a lot of smack. If Shaq talked smack at me, since I can't understand a goddamn word he says I wouldn't be offended. Also Shaq has played with teams that are more talented than the ones Jordan played with, so he's had more to work with.

Kobe by the way isn't in the top 10.

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