Friday, June 18, 2004

Mitch Kupchak: Ruinous Asshole

Oh my god this man is a moron. He has ruined the Lakers. According to this article, Jackson is a goner, and Shaq has asked for a trade. The reason behind Shaq's leaving is that Kupchak has basically offended Shaq by concentrating on re-signing Kobe.

Is Kupchak a fucking primate? Is he crazy? Did he not just watch the finals where Shaq was the only consistently good player on the team? This is the same man responsible for procuring our crap bench, and especially Medvedenko. This is a man who thinks Kobe, the ball hog, the selfish prick, the person about to go to prison, the total loner, is a better player than Shaq. It's utterly insane.

This is the beginning of a long dark period for the Lakers if we lose Shaq. A Kobe led team will not make the playoffs. A Kobe led team will have other players begging to be traded. No one can stand to work with the guy. He's utterly obnoxious. It's also pretty stupid to invest in someone who might be behind bars a year from now. I have a strong feeling this team is done for.

Oh yeah, the Dodgers won. Nice.

Thursday, June 17, 2004


Soooooooo, back to what the original purpose of this blog was for, that is the Dodgers. We sweep the Orioles, only to face the team that defined cheating, the New York Yankees. This weekend all the trendy pseudo-Manhattanites in LA will run to see the games and root for the Yankees, which is a favorite sport of Angelenos. Any outside team that is "cool" is always popular. And the Dodgers will probably do them a favor and collapse completely.

Beltre slugged his 16th homerun tonight, which has solidified him as one of the premiere 3rd basemen in the game, especially considering his age. Soon he'll be getting moody, become a loner, demand a restructoring of his contract, be accused of throttling and raping a hotel concierge, and consider playing for the Colorado Rockies. Or at the very least star in Pert Plus commercials and end up traded to the Mets when he demands a pay increase. It's a guarantee.

I don't know how much longer I'll go on being nasty and cruel after the Lakers' loss this year, but it'll probably for the next six or seven months I figure. In the meantime...enjoy!

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

The Pain is Over

Wow, thank God they were showing A-Team reruns on KDOC, or I would have shot myself. I needed something desperately even mildly interesting to replace the hardcore gang rape that was going on, on ABC, or I would have overdosed on household cleaning products.

I tuned out in the early third quarter. Watching the Dodger game some helped, but even that was hard to pay attention to, with the mere presence of one of your favorite teams being destroyed a mere six channels away. Good game by Lima, it was probably a fluke though.

Next up is the firestorm. Should be fun. A Kobe suicide? A Jackson heart attack? A Shaq surgery? A Malone retirement? A Payton shootout with the police? I predict two of these things will happen.

How did they win? How in the fucking world did Detroit win? Were they the better team? No way in Hell. There's no way that piece of shit will repeat next year. No dynasty for that withered prick Larry Brown, and his uber hot trophy wife. No way. The Eastern Conference playoffs are a random team generator for the best team in the West.

Perhaps the Lakers should have lost against the Spurs. I think the Spurs would have destroyed the Pistons. But the refs in that game threw the series in favor of the Lakers, for a bigger ratings show in the Finals.

But the Commissioner knew that America as a whole would throw a fit if an alleged rapist won the trophy. So he had the refs fix that series as well. And they did. The Pistons were able to do whatever they wished against us, with Rasheed Wallace bear hugging opponents as often as he liked. That amazing defense of the Pistons was just non stop full contact bullshit that would have never been allowed during the regular season. But the NBA has a bad enough image in America, and for caucasions to flock to the game, the Lakers had to lose. No way could Kobe win. I'm convinced of this.

And in the end, playing terribly by Kobe helped things along too. If he doesn't have some kind of surgery after the season is over, we'll know he threw the game. He was terrible the entire series. Terrible to the point that I'm convinced Commissioner Stern came to him with an offer of ten million dollars to make up for his lack of endorsement revenue, and the huge legal bill he was going to face. The Lakers were the heavy favorite, but Kobe played far worse than his skills showed he was capable of playing. I think he threw the game.

I pray, if there's a God in the universe, if there's any justice in the world, that Kobe is off the team next year. Replace him with anything, even Slava. Good riddance.

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Fuck The World

After the police took me down from the clocktower, I went home to gather my thoughts. How in the fucking world does a dogshit team like Detroit, school the Lakers?

I blame Kobe.

I could easily blame that Mad Russian, the Soviet Moron, Slava Medvedenko. But I won't. We all know he's a terrible player, and he had minimal playing time. The Lakers have won with him doing worse.

I blame Kobe. I blame Kobe, because I think and know that he's more capable than awful performance he has put on this series. He's been atrocious. It's my belief that he may have taken the fall and gotten a pay off by big time bookies. Remember Kobe is without endorsement money now, and his wife is probably going to leave him. That means he needs money. I think he's been paid off.

The other conspiracy is from Commissioner Stern. At least a third of the Pistons' scoring came from foul shots. What the fuck is that? When I saw Ben Wallace stab Luke Walton, and prevent him from getting to a loose ball, and no whistle sounded, I knew the fix was on. Are the fans of Detroit that scary that they can intimidate an entire ref squad into calling fouls for them? It's crazy.

And finally, Jimmy Kimmel recently was brow beaten and censored after making the perfectly logical statement that the people of Detroit would go crazy after a win and burn down the fucking city. Since when did the truth get a bad rap? Detroit is North America's version of Beirut. I won't be surprised to see skyscrapers on fire later this week. For that reason alone, the Lakers should have won.

My eyes are burning from the tears, I need to go to bed...

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