Saturday, July 03, 2004

Newsfront and Letters

This letter is from Colin Kameoka:

Hello Dodgerkid

Just a question from fellow LA fan. Do you think Kobe
is hell bent on screwing the Lakers big time? Here is
the scenario, tell me if I am crazy.

1. Lakers cough up 50 mil to hire Krzyzewski
2. Lakers trade Shaq
3. Kobe then calls press conference
4. Kobe reveals that he signed with the Clippers

Would that be the ultimate hose job or what?
Basically, to hose the Lakers so that they suck and
make Kobe the headline of the Clippers. Knowing the
Lakers are holding the bag with too much money to
Krzyzewski and egg on their face after trading Shaq.

Dodger Question. Should we march Dreifort out there
instead of Nomo? He can't do worse. Ok, I guess he
could blow something out and end up on the DL.

I'm not optimistic about Coach Polack. My brother is, I'm not. I basically don't like college coachs making the leap to the NBA. College coachs are under the impression that the players love them, and are grateful to them for getting a chance to play. When Coach K deals with a punk like Kobe who shows up late to practice, and doesn't answer phone calls from the coach, he's going to be shocked.

Basically, I don't believe in coaches at all. I think the players should be coaches at the professional level. I think Shaq should be coach of the Lakers. Bill Russell did it with the Celtics, and took his team to the finals one year, and won the finals the next year. A combination of racism, and a hate for Shaq would totally prevent him from coaching the Lakers himself. After watching a season of laid-back Phil Jackson barely coaching at all, I'm convinced someone just as laid back, namely Shaq should be coach.

Do I think Shaq will be traded, and then Kobe jumps to the Clippers? No, I think Kobe would never betray the Lakers like that and then jump to another LA team, because then he would be surrounded by people who hated him. Now, I think there's a possibility he would do that and jump to, say, the Suns, but not to something close to home.

I don't think Shaq is getting traded, because his salary is enormous, and there's little interest in him. The Kings are in our division, so there's no way we would trade to them, the same is true of the Mavs. Unless some Eastern Conference team steps up, I think more and more, every day, that Shaq is going to stay a Laker. Which is why, if the Lakers are smart, they would make Shaq the coach, and give him half of Jackson's salary. If they were smart.

The thing that is going to fuck up the Lakers next year is Payton. The evil motherfucker has already taken his guaranteed salary next year, because he knows no one is going to take him as a free agent and pay him that much. So we have another problem, and little money to work with. Kulpchak has succeeded in pissing off almost every Laker, and given us less money to work with then ever. I expect the big threat to be the Rockets, with Yao and Tracy McGrady. Once again the Orlando Magic have succeeded in making the Western conference even stronger. I really think some teams devote their resources just to make other teams champions.

I didn't really answer your questions, but it's my blog, and I get to do what I want. I'll talk about the Dodgers more tomorrow. God Bless America!

Wednesday, June 30, 2004


It's time.
Part I is over

Hoorah we won! The first in a three part trilogy, young, obnoxious, head strong Jeff Weaver was able to lead a motley band of pilots into the Gay Star, home of the evil Black and Orangeites, and sent a Gagne ray right into the heart of that structure.

Now with Nomosan, taking the reins for game two, I predict that part two of this trilogy will end in defeat, and possibly, the loss of Nomosan's right hand, to his evil Steroidite father, Barry Bonds.

Our truest hope for victory lies in two areas: One, a federal grand jury indictment of Barry for using dark side magic in giving himself superhuman strength, and two, for Lima to beat Schmidt, the Orangeite emperor. Lima is a wisecracking lunatic pilot, but the buoyant support he receives from Princess Cantalopes shall surely give him the strength he needs to see the Dodgers through. R2-Lo-Duca and Chewbeltre will be there as well, but expect only grouchiness and complaints from Green-3P0 as he wonders once again, what the fuck he's gotten himself into.

Over and out.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Is it over?

This week will be the most important week for the Dodger's 2004 season. If the Dodgers perform badly against the Giants, at home, expect Odalis Perez, Adrian Beltre, or both, to be traded away for prospects.

No joke.

With Robin Ventura on our bench, the Dodgers have an acceptable stop gap for the remainder of the year at third base. Shawn Green, Milton Bradley, Alex Cora, all these characters are untouchable for various terrible reasons. No one is willing to deal with Bradley's insanity, Green's shittiness, or Cora's shittiness as well.

However if we win, I think we can expect little to no changes. Why? Largely because our farm system is absolute crap, and the rest of the MLB knows it. The only player that has been asked for from the Dodgers has been Mota, and with Edwin Jackson pitching with a 5+ ERA, Hanrahan and Miller injured, and absolutely no hitters of any consequence in our AAA, and AA teams, you can bet that the poor draft choices of Dan Evans will be biting us in the ass for years to come.

Thanks to my night classes I'm taking to learn to become a professional plumber, I'll be missing most of the games this week. But I'll have something to say about them afterwards, reading from the box scores. Considering the absolute suicide of the Lakers, it should come as no surprise if the Dodgers go out with a whimper. I've made this prediction before, and I'll make it again: LA Sports might be heading for a dark age.


Sunday, June 27, 2004

I went to my first regular season home game for the Dodgers yesterday. It was a day game as you were all aware, and because I didn't have a radio, I had no idea what was going on when Odalis got taken out early with an injury, or when the umpires surrounded Ventura. I thought they had caught him with a corked bat, and then imagine my surprise when he was walked. I found out later the ump had lost count of the balls.

It was about 100 degrees in the sun. I wore sunblock, unlike some of my associates who came to the game with me. They proceeded to boil in the sun like mad Englishmen.

I also saw Rick Monday, Fernando, and that latin guy who does the play by play for the Angels. If you want to catch big names, hang out by the escalators. There's only one set of elevators and escalators in the ballpark, so even famous people have to share with us animals. Fernando was very gracious to everyone, and might I add he's looking quite svelte. Much thinner than his playing days.

The game was a disaster, and though it went quickly, because the sun had sapped my energy, if felt like it went on forever.

The Dodger stadium store has raised its prices to absurd levels, in time for the season. Don't bother ordering from them, just do it online. You literally will save hundreds of dollars.

I also caught this Sunday's game, and hopefully it means a return to winning, especially against the series with the Giants coming up this week. The true culprit to the Dodgers' losing ways is our pitching, plain and simple. EVERY single one of our relievers ERAs jumped by a point from this past week. I'm inclined to think that that was a fluke, and that some, if not all of them, should settle down again.

Also, I'd like to recommend once and for all to bring up Edwin Jackson. Can he possibly do worse than Nomo's 95.00 ERA? It's just not possible. Why is Mike Scoscia allowed to take Ramon Ortiz, and put him in the bullpen, and Tracy is not allowed to punish a far worse Nomo? The point of the game is to win, not be loyal to someone. At least that's the way the Dodgers under Lasorda/Claire used to be run. Win a Series, get kicked off the team.

And finally, after the game on Saturday, I saw a little movie called Fahrenheit 9/11. Here's a rant about it, which I highly recommend you skip, if curse words offend you:

[Begin Rant]

There were quite a few reviewers of films on television bagging on this film. I saw that moron Joel Siegel on "Good Morning America" actually call it one-sided. Joel, you fucking grape ape, where did you get your movie reviewer degree, from somewhere in between a cracker jack box, ITT Tech, and Hollywood Upstairs Medical School? What are you, a fucking chimp? Of course it's one-sided. Do I want to hear that hooked nose, beady eyed, piece of shit Christmas Elf George W. Bush's version of events? Do I want to hear the version of events from an absolute asshole, who is bombing brown people all around the earth to death in my name? Would I sit down Michael Jackson, and ask his version of events, or OJ? Would I go with Orenthal on a hunt for the real killers through Brentwood? If I asked Michael, or OJ a question about their crimes I would get a guttural mix of half truths, mixed lies, and utter bullshit from those two fuck sticks, that would make my dick fall off, my head explode, and my knees quake from their utter complete contempt for the human race and human dignity. I would totally shit myself from the naked stupidity of such an act. Of course the movie is one-sided, why the fuck do I want to hear their side? You'd have to be a goddamn numbskull automaton who listens to the makeup laden pox monkey talking heads on Fox News as gospel to even believe a millisecond of the non-stop lies and trash George Bush produces to even consider listening to the man at this point. To say he's a fucking liar is to put it mildly.

People have called Michael Moore's movie propaganda. As opposed to what? The good propaganda from the folks at CNN, MSNBC, and FOX news? The one where no one dies in war, unless they were the "enemy"? The one where Bush "won" the election? What the fuck are you talking about?

There's no room for debating whether George Bush isn't a creepazoid from the planet Shitara, really genuinely breathing a mist of pure shittiness from his throat, trying to conquer the world for an extra buck. If you disagree that Bush isn't the anti-christ, you probably should have a pith helmet slammed onto your head, be given a stick, and have your dumb ass air dropped into Iraq to conquer a sand dune, you stupid naive dumbshit fuck hole, so you can get a taste of what our troops are going through.

[end rant]

Talk to ya later!

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