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Wednesday, September 01, 2004

I am so busy

I really don't have time to type shit. Well, I mean I certainly have time to type the word "shit", but I don't have time to spew out my mouth diarrhea that I do all the time. But I was in class the other day, thinking of how the media has totally brainwashed the fat, obnoxious masses that make up most of America. If you watch a Dodger telecast, you are bombarded by the same fucking ads over and over again. If I had the money, I think I would march down to the Nissan dealership, buy an Altima and drive it through the gates of Dodger Stadium and park the fucker in McCourt's office. Over and over again, the ridiculous lies that glowing sphere pumps out, into my head. Maybe I will break down and buy the Altima, and people will be more impressed with a metallic object than a flesh and blood sentient organism. At least that's what the commercial tells us. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it has a woman getting out of her black Altima, and being ignored by a crowd of people who instead of looking at her, look at the car. The fucking car. A cardboard cut out of a car, mass produced, gas slurping behemoth, with no personality whatsoever is more important than a beautiful woman. Ummm, sure.

And that's what TV does. It satiates us with endless bullshit, to pacify us, so that if the truth escapes for a moment, we are so laid back and content that we neglect to react. If a guy runs onto the outfield at Dodger stadium, we're not allowed to watch. IF the players pick their noses, flick off the opposing dugout, we're not allowed to watch. All we can watch is the sterile game. Nothing else.

I thought more about how the media has so bombarded us with bullshit, we now take it for granted. Here are commonly held beliefs repeated so often, we have let our natural BS shields down, and accept them as the holy truth:

I am fat because of an injury
An SUV can fit in a compact parking space.
Milk is a good source of calcium.
I take Tylenol to cure headaches.
Kobe Bryant is the next Michael Jordan
Iraqis were on the airplanes that struck the Twin Towers.
If I pray hard enough I can move mountains.
Constant pain is a sign of aging
The health care industry’s primary purpose is health.

Many of these beliefs are given to us by corporate lackeys who come on the air, selling us a product for an ailment, we may or may not have. Remember folks, modern medicine has cured nothing since polio. NOTHING. Yet we are taught that it has the solution to all our problems. Infomercials bombard us with bullshit, get rich quick schemes, endless non stop lies. What does this have to do with sports? Everything! If you listen to sports radio, like Vick the Brick, a complete subhuman moron, Kobe is the next great thing, now that he's got THE CHANCE to shoot. Huh? These guys come to industry-wide bullshit agreements based on no evidence, and hope that if they repeat them enough, we'll believe them. A few days ago Vick the Brick was talking during the Olympics of how the whole world was jealous of America because we are so free, and so rich, that's why American athletes get booed at Greece. What the fuck? Could it be, the elephant in the room, that it's because we invaded a sovereign nation? Wake up slack jawed yokels! I wouldn't mind being brainwashed, if the people who ruled the airwaves at least had college educations. Instead, I'm forced to listen to absolute retards, tell me total lies! Ridiculous. Even the great Vin Scully, though I love his stories, complete fabrications though they are, demonstrates a player's skill using statistics that are old, irrelevant, and not indicative of skill. That's WRONG. Why does he cling to these? Because he probably feels the masses aren't smart enough. That's the wrong mentality.

I snuck into the last Rob Neyer chat on ESPN, like a nerd. I asked him two questions, one as Dodgerkid about Beltre. He felt Beltre was not a fluke. And my second question was this:

Max: Why do people everywhere cling to silly notions like "heart" and "clubhouse presence",and "clutch hitting" that have been soundly disproven by mathematics? Is it the failure of our education system in America?

Rob Neyer: I think your tongue's probably in your cheek, but I do believe we don't do nearly enough to teach our kids to think critically. This shows up in baseball analysis, which is harmless, but it also shows up everywhere else, which isn't harmless.

I don't know why I used the name Max, probably because I'm crazy, and I do random things, but Rob's point is correct. People just believe things, because that stupid glowing sphere tells them that, that's the way things are. Well things aren't that way! Fat people aren't loveable, Riki Lake won't solve your problems, Larry Parker is a fucking scheister attorney with no skills who will get you millions of dollars only if your legs have been torn off by the commuter rail, and juicer extractors have as much nutritional value as hot pie bar from McDonalds. God help us all, and God help me for taking this blog on another tangent. Next entry will be about baseball I swear.


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