<$BlogRSDUrl$>

Friday, September 10, 2004

I hate the Dodgers

I can't get fucking playoff tickets! What kind of deal is that? I've been trying all day to click on the web, or call the SOBs, and they won't let me through. Yet somehow, some pieces of shit on ebay got tickets, which they promptly resell to the highest bidder for quadruple their MSRP. Nice deal. I think McCourt and the Dodgers traced my IP address and are blocking me from making a transaction, because I've made fun of them so many times. I hate them and their wretched family for overcharging the poor plebian fans of the Dodgers, and may lightning strike the stadium on opening day killing everyone in the seats, except the players, who are mere gladiators toiling for their enjoyment. I will laugh from the safety of my home while watching TV. I hate each and every person who attends the series. From the bottom of my heart, love, DodgerKid.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Oh What A Night

So I was at the game with Finley hitting the game winning RBI. I actually sat in the best seats ever, only a few feet behind the visitor's dugout, from seats I scalped from some bum. Actually it turned out the bum was a season ticket holder, but because he was unshaven, I took him for a bum, and for 20 bucks got 75 dollar face value seats. I thought that the tickets were fake for that price, and was getting ready to sprint after him to catch him but they turned out to be real. On the weekdays scalpers are all over the place, blatantly breaking the law, with security nowhere to be found. I don't have a problem with scalpers, normally they're good people, but no security means roving bands of psychos when the game is over.

I sat behind these two girls who were really into the D-Backs. They dressed real slutty, like they had just come out of a Poison music video, and they smelled like shampoo. I made a mental note that they were guaranteed to be shaving down below if you get my drift, and was reaching for my pocket mirror for a quick upskirt, when I noticed them waving to Carlos Baerga from the visiting dugout steps. These girls were obviously GROUPIES! I had read an article a while back that all the players have these slutty girls who follow them around, and who basically sleep with them in exchange for gifts, and other tokens, and the right to be called that player's girl. They were literally the only ones rooting for the D-backs, and they had more of that slutty southwest hot girl look, then the sophisticated Hollywood hot girl look most women in the LA basin have. Throughout the game they were text messaging someone in Spanish, which was pretty peculiar considering that they were white, and obviously devoid of a college education. Unless you count beautician's school, but I don't think they teach foreign languages there. You have to be a pretty desperate/clever gal to learn a foreign language to get a sugar daddy. The fact that Baerga was more busy waving at them, then the game is probably why he's hitting a 585 OPS and will be out of the majors next year. Sluts can be kryptonite to professional athlete.

So that was a major digression, but I figure you're more interested in what adventures could be had then the game itself, which you probably already saw. From my vantage point in the great seats I had, you could see into Vin Scully's booth, and see an enormous Gagne calendar/poster on the wall next to Vin. I noticed during the seventh inning stretch Scully motioning to someone in the seats to come up to the booth. I was about to get up and go, when I noticed he was in fact motioning to two fat guys with even better seats than I. I had read that McCourt likes to wave to his most famous employee every game, but McCourt was nowhere to be seen.

As I write this, I'm wondering whether Perez being pulled in the fifth was Tracy's doing or an injury. If it was Tracy, the man is nearing genius level for me. Other than his not playing Choi, I agree with him in most areas. I think his not playing Choi is probably a giant fuck you to DePodesta, after the shit he and McCourt have put the old man through, by stringing him along until near the end of the season for a renewal. It's typical corporate on your knees mentality, and Tracy must hinder the promising young career of a player in order to get revenge. Or maybe Tracy hates Asians, which is why he benches Choi and Ishii, and injected into Nomo's shoulder cancer serum. Ok, I made the last part up. But it's fun to conjecture.

What made this game perfect for me, until the middle of it, was the fact that I got to see the game without hearing Eric Karros call it. I know it is his arrogant Gap t-shirt, Pert Plus wearing ass that is going to replace Scully one of these days, and so when was given a standing ovation by the crowd, I knew nothing could be perfect, and the game was almost ruined.

I've noticed that Dodger fans seem to be more involved in the game. When Karros came back last year in a Cubs uniform, no one could give a shit. But today, two years later, he gets a huge clap. And when the game went a half inning overtime, very few people left, even though it was a Wednesday night, and the merciless corporate world beckoned for most tomorrow morning. Still they stayed, and watched us win, even forcing their children to watch. Pretty neato, I think.


Oh What A Night

So I was at the game with Finley hitting the game winning RBI. I actually sat in the best seats ever, only a few feet behind the visitor's dugout, from seats I scalped from some bum. Actually it turned out the bum was a season ticket holder, but because he was unshaven, I took him for a bum, and for 20 bucks got 75 dollar face value seats. I thought that the tickets were fake for that price, and was getting ready to sprint after him to catch him but they turned out to be real. On the weekdays scalpers are all over the place, blatantly breaking the law, with security nowhere to be found. I don't have a problem with scalpers, normally they're good people, but no security means roving bands of psychos when the game is over.

I sat behind these two girls who were really into the D-Backs. They dressed real slutty, like they had just come out of a Poison music video, and they smelled like shampoo. I made a mental note that they were guaranteed to be shaving down below if you get my drift, and was reaching for my pocket mirror for a quick upskirt, when I noticed them waving to Carlos Baerga from the visiting dugout steps. These girls were obviously GROUPIES! I had read an article a while back that all the players have these slutty girls who follow them around, and who basically sleep with them in exchange for gifts, and other tokens, and the right to be called that player's girl. They were literally the only ones rooting for the D-backs, and they had more of that slutty southwest hot girl look, then the sophisticated Hollywood hot girl look most women in the LA basin have. Throughout the game they were text messaging someone in Spanish, which was pretty peculiar considering that they were white, and obviously devoid of a college education. Unless you count beautician's school, but I don't think they teach foreign languages there. You have to be a pretty desperate/clever gal to learn a foreign language to get a sugar daddy. The fact that Baerga was more busy waving at them, then the game is probably why he's hitting a 585 OPS and will be out of the majors next year. Sluts can be kryptonite to professional athlete.

So that was a major digression, but I figure you're more interested in what adventures could be had then the game itself, which you probably already saw. From my vantage point in the great seats I had, you could see into Vin Scully's booth, and see an enormous Gagne calendar/poster on the wall next to Vin. I noticed during the seventh inning stretch Scully motioning to someone in the seats to come up to the booth. I was about to get up and go, when I noticed he was in fact motioning to two fat guys with even better seats than I. I had read that McCourt likes to wave to his most famous employee every game, but McCourt was nowhere to be seen.

As I write this, I'm wondering whether Perez being pulled in the fifth was Tracy's doing or an injury. If it was Tracy, the man is nearing genius level for me. Other than his not playing Choi, I agree with him in most areas. I think his not playing Choi is probably a giant fuck you to DePodesta, after the shit he and McCourt have put the old man through, by stringing him along until near the end of the season for a renewal. It's typical corporate on your knees mentality, and Tracy must hinder the promising young career of a player in order to get revenge. Or maybe Tracy hates Asians, which is why he benches Choi and Ishii, and injected into Nomo's shoulder cancer serum. Ok, I made the last part up. But it's fun to conjecture.

What made this game perfect for me, until the middle of it, was the fact that I got to see the game without hearing Eric Karros call it. I know it is his arrogant Gap t-shirt, Pert Plus wearing ass that is going to replace Scully one of these days, and so when was given a standing ovation by the crowd, I knew nothing could be perfect, and the game was almost ruined.

I've noticed that Dodger fans seem to be more involved in the game. When Karros came back last year in a Cubs uniform, no one could give a shit. But today, two years later, he gets a huge clap. And when the game went a half inning overtime, very few people left, even though it was a Wednesday night, and the merciless corporate world beckoned for most tomorrow morning. Still they stayed, and watched us win, even forcing their children to watch. Pretty neato, I think.


Monday, September 06, 2004

New Dodger Site

It's called Dodgerdugout. I demand that you visit it.
Egads

Almost a week has passed, and I have neglected to update this blog. My reason is simple; all my spare time has been spent perusing Indian mail order brides on the Internet.

If you happen to be of Indian descent, and you or your daughter is looking for a husband, please take me into consideration. I am very open to all religions/faiths/cults/sects, and will happily join them, so long as the only requirement for my joining them is merely stating that I am a member. If you tolerate laziness, the occasional temper tantrum, severe beating depending on how fast you can run away, my insatiable love for Indian food of all types, and my secret disgust for you, then I think you might have found your soul mate. One more side note, I hate Bollywood.

I was able to glance at all three games against St. Louis this weekend. St. Louis is a very good team. We are a very mediocre team, that plays in an even more mediocre division. If we face St. Louis in the first round, we will lose. On the bright side, I think we will go to the playoffs this year. I am no longer a naysayer in that regard.

It has also come to my attention that Eric Karros, the hairy Greek, is trying out for a job in the radio booth. I knew a SoCal arrogant fratboy dunce like him was destined to replace Vin Scully, and no one believed me. Believe it folks, Scully ain't immortal. In two years, I will be listening to Dodger games on mute.

Talk to you later.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?