Saturday, February 12, 2005

About Fucking Time

What the hell is wrong with me? Why haven't I been updating?

I've been reading a book about Australian baseball, because I'm thinking of moving there. I want to live in a place where women are attracted to me because of my accent, not who I am, or what I look like.

I want to continue my deep, intense, analysis of the Dodgers and the other teams in the NL West. So without further ado:



J.T. Snow vs. Hee Seop Choi. If there's anyone who should be playing in Asia, it should be J.T. not Choi. What is this old man still doing stateside? Advantage, Choi.


Ray Durham vs. Jeff Kent. Durham's a little tike, but he's a really good hitter for a second baseman. He's obviously defensively superior to Kent, because I say so. Kent's a really good hitter too. Durham in the last two seasons in a pitcher's park hit 111 and 115 OPS+ respectively. In a hitter's park, Kent hit the last two seasons, 118 and 124 OPS+. Kent will be 37 in 2005, Durham 33. I think it's about a wash here. Durham's a little more injury prone, so that'll probably make up for the defensive gap. But everyone is telling me that Kent is Joe Morgan, so maybe Kent's better. No fuck that. It's a tie.


Omar Vizquel vs. Cesar Izturis. In some ways they're really similar players at least early in their careers. At least that's what my five second glance at Vizquel's stats leads me to believe. If Izturis isn't lying about his age, I give this to Izturis. He improves offensively dramatically every year. Didn't Vizquel have some knee issues? Izturis wins.


Edgardo Alfonzo vs. Jose Valentin. Alfonzo has been on a steady decline the last few seasons, and I just don't see that changing, unless a syringe or two comes into play. Valentin has a lot more upside, or at least the potential to have an above average OPS, with some pop. Slight advantage to Valentin.


Mike Matheny vs. David Ross. Wow, I'm actually giving the edge to Ross. You know your GM is incompetent when he procures an expensive free agent to compete against a career minor leaguer who is playing for a division rival.


Barry Bonds vs. Jayson Werth. Let me be the first professional sportswriter from the mainstream media to predict the first subpar season from Bonds. His knees are a mess, he'll show up to camp 30lbs under his usual weight, and his power will be gone. However, he can hit lefties, is durable, two things Werth is not. I shouldn't really bother with a comparison here, but I just had to tell the world that Bonds' invincibility is finally over. Hee Hee.


Marquis Grissom vs. J.D. Drew. Grissom is always predicted to be a bust, and then he hits decently, usually the result of platooning. He's really ugly, in the face at least. I've heard he's a really nice guy too, always signing autographs. Anyway, Drew's better, so edge Drew.


Moises Alou vs. Milton Bradley. Piss hands vs. Rage. I'm going with Bradley. He's my new favorite player on the Dodgers, now that Beltre was betrayed. He's got so much upside, and it's only a matter of time before he makes the newspapers in some horror story involving a chainsaw and his family members. Alou has PEDs on his side, due to his late career resurgence, and has more power, but the effects of the stadium, plus age make this one for Bradley.


Ok, Reuter and Tomko, they both have to collapse this year. I mean really. They suck, and I have no idea how one or both of them manages to pitch well. Schmidt was amazing last season, but he also had declined considerably from 2003. Madman Alou will boil his arm, so that threat is snuffed. I fear Jerome Williams and Noah Lowry. Williams has injury issues, Lowry looks talented. Hmm.

I really expect big things from Williams and Lowry. Combine that with a decent outing by Schmidt, and you have the makings of a good starting staff. If, and it's a big if, Brad Penny can be healthy, we have the edge. Weaver, average, Perez, slightly below average, Lowe average, Ishii, average, it's a solid rotation, but there's no stand outs. I give the edge to the Giants. I mean what's more likely, Noah Lowry and Jerome Williams pitching well all season, or Edwin Jackson coming up and rocking the world. I mean really people, our farm system has still yet to bear fruit.


Benitez their closer was AMAZING last season, probably will come down a little, Herges sucks, Brower's decent, Eyre sucks, ummm, there's too many hits and misses here, and it's largely the same relief staff from last season. I don't remember it being that strong, on the other hand we haven't changed our relief staff either. I give the edge to us, we've got Gagne. I'm confident our farm system can at least spit out a reliever, have Jackson pitch every Wednesday or something for an inning.

Their pitching staff is better than ours slightly, other than left field their offense stinks. It's not a balanced team. They're better than the Padres, less holes. If we have a rash of bad luck they'll beat us, but we probably will win. Plus DePod is decent with the mid season trades. I'm still bitter about Beltre, but I think the DePod has created a division winner. Though a division winner not much better than last year's team.


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