Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Punk Ass Bitch (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love J.D. Drew)

J.D. Drew is a punk ass bitch. According to this L.A. Times article, Drew has declared that he is the starting center fielder for the Los Angeles Dodgers. Last I checked, it was Milton Bradley.

My family has always followed an old saying: "Never shit in another man's house". When I first was told this, I thought it pertained to taking a dump in another man's house and stinking up the commode. The last thing you should do is go over someone's house and stink the place up, try and find a nearby restaurant or other commercial enterprise and use their public restrooms.

But now I know better. Center field is Bradley's home. And Drew is taking a shit in it. The fact that he went to the media before going to Bradley means that the turd he created is a nasty sweaty diarrhea turd, the kind found in gas station restrooms. And it has the foulest smell.

Can you imagine starting a job and announcing that you are the new head of personnel when that space is taken? How would that person feel? You might as well have shat all over his cubicle.

Baseball is war, is life, is a stupid game with men in tight pants running around on drugs. I love it. But I think I hate J.D. Drew.

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