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Thursday, March 24, 2005

What's Wrong?

Hi! I've been going over various things in my head the last few days, most of which are illegal, so I won't write about them here. But some of these thoughts have been baseball related so here goes. The following is a list of things I think are wrong with the team, and will cause us trouble:

Bullpen: It's the same as last years! Brazobhan will probably have a rookie regression. Gagne is injured. Alvarez is old and injured. Carrera is spotty at times, see his Mariner's career for more info. Dessens is Dessens. Duaner has a funny name. It all adds up to mediocrity. Now I'm sure it was one of the better bullpens in the game last season, but our offense which was decent was totally overhauled, why not overhaul the bullpen? I'm actually not that worried about it because relievers are easy to make, and easy to trade for. But expect problems from it. To say that each and every one of these guys is going to do as well as he did last year is saying a lot.

Offense: On paper, without any injury analysis, our offense is better than it was last year. With some basic rationality and common sense, we could be in trouble. J.D. Drew is injury prone. Milton Bradley is injury prone. Jayson Werth is Darren Dreifort's cousin. Jeff Kent is somewhat injury prone. That is four of eight fielding starters. I have been predicting for months now that Werth will miss most of the season. He is a guaranteed lock to miss at least the first half of April, if you include a rehab stint in the minors. Bradley has chronic hamstring issues, and it wouldn't surprise me if he ends the season early, like he did in Cleveland in 2003. Drew is just a pansy.

I think our starting pitching is great. I think Lowe will be decent not because he's a decent pitcher, but because his shittiness is masked by Dodger stadium and decent defense behind him. Yes, I have retreated from calling Jeff Kent a shitty defender. I still don't think he's as good as Cora, but he was a decent buy. Lowe, due to his contract, was not a decent buy. And J.D. Drew was also a shitty buy. The fact that he has a two year walk away deal is great, but I guarantee you he will not exercise it. He's just too injury prone.

Getting Jason Phillips for Ishii was a good trade. Putting Paul Bako over Ross is dumb, but won't make that much of a difference. Ross can really hit in a limited role. If pitchers forget about him, and rarely see him, he'll hit homeruns like he did in 2003. If they see him a lot, we're in trouble. Bako just can't hit. I expect to see Ross back on the team in a bit though. Hopefully.

So that's it. More in a few days, I'm writing papers.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Note to my Readers

I have decided to leave the country. Not now, but in a few months. I have decided to move to Britain. No I do not have a job. That is where you, my readers come in. Give me a job. Where I make at least 50 thousand pounds a year. I believe that America will be destroyed by God in 4-5 years, and I'd rather not be around to see it. Also while I think American women are beautiful, I believe most are secretly pod people. Email me in private if you have any information. I will soon have a law degree, and I also have the uncanny ability to tell nasty jokes at the most inopportune times. Also I would like to move to a country where people will like me for my accent, rather than for any innate skills or abilities I might have. British men do it here, so it's only fair. This is not a joke by the way. Thank you.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

I support this move

Ishitty traded for Phillips. I support this move. It was a good one. DePod stated that we "8-9 people who can start". Let's see if he's right:

Derek Lowe
Jeff Weaver
Possibly Odalis Perez
Possibly Brad Penny
If there's a God Edwin Jackson
Wilson Alvarez every other month
Elmer Dessens but we will lose the game
Scott Erickson

Ok maybe. Is Ishii worse than all of the above. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm, yes. It was a good move, IF our starters get healthy. From all accounts they are. Good.

In other news I am debating stopping this blog and starting a new one. It probably won't happen for a few months. I am super busy right now and will update this blog an average of once a week. My new blog will incorporate my intense talent for humor, nudity, vulgarity, and me. There is so much in world affairs and politics to talk about, and I can never comment on it here without going wildly off topic. For instance the fact that our government is trying to keep alive an undead woman as you read this. My government, obviously because of an earlier dealer with Satan, lord of the underworld has decided to sustain a human vampire in the form of Terry Schiavo. Totally disgusting. People put loved ones to death by pulling the plug every day in this country. I'm sure if George's pops was on life support they would terminate his ass with extreme prejudice. This pandering to the right wing bible belt of this country is out of control. God help us all.

See what I mean about going off topic?

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