Sunday, May 29, 2005

My Anti-Depressants are Kicking In

Edwin Jackson is only 21. He's young yet, so his disappointing season so far is meaningless. He'll be our number one starter in a couple seasons. The Padres pitching is terrible outside of Jake Peavy. Their recent winnings are largely because of a hot streak by their offense. Once that collapses, they're done for. Derek Thompson is more than capable of being our third starter. Our offense is the best in the division. My new situp exercise routine has increased my penis size by half a centimeter. The longer daylight allows me to see flowers blooming more frequently. The Iraq war is winnable. I have invested in the American stockmarket with confidence. Jesus will greet me at the end of my life in front of the pearly gates. Aahhh, it's wearing off....

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